I'm still alive, I promise!!!!

First off, I am terribly sorry for the hiatus. This summer was packed full to the brim. It was started by the departure of a family that is so dear to me. My best friend Allyson and her beautiful family moved away to Georgia. As a child with a retired father that basically grew up on the Air Force base, this is nothing new to me. It was always the case I’d make a new best friend only to have their family get orders by the end of the year, and I would heart-breakingly cry my eyes out all summer, only to have the process repeat itself the next year. This scar had somewhat healed itself in the last 18 years and this move definitely disturbed it. Even though she’s hundreds of miles apart I know that we will leave off with our SNL inside humor and love for books the minute we are together again. I managed to successfully pull off a surprise going away party for them (barely….John, her husband, tried his best to ruin the surprise) and we had an amazing time.

Right after this we got some amazing news that was so exciting and scary to hear. We found out that we were expecting a baby. The reason I say this is so exciting and scary have to do with the last year that we have experienced. You see Ryan, my husband, and I have been trying to conceive a baby since June of 2013. We were actually successful twice, but sadly lost both babies. No one likes to talk about miscarriage and I never knew how hard of a subject it was until it happened to me. Last June was when we found out we were expecting our first little bundle and, after having two successful pregnancies resulting in my beautiful children, I was so in love and excited. About the second week in July is when I lost the baby and I never knew how hard that would be until it happened. I didn’t know having a miscarriage could throw you into a state of depression and anxiety. I’m so thankful that I had my family and loving husband to take care of me through that time, they were the only things that were able to sort of snap me out of that.

We started trying again a couple months later and again were blessed with a pregnancy in November. I felt so good about this one and just knew that everything was going to be ok, that we were finally going to get our miracle child!! January 10^th we lost our 2^nd baby. I took this one a lot better than I did the first time, although emotionally it never gets any easier for yourself or your spouse.

Ryan and I decided we were going to wait to try again until the summer and just enjoy our little family. Unfortunately I was still suffering with the aftereffects of the miscarriages and my anxiety. In about March I had decided that I wanted to do something about it and I was going to see a counselor.  It was about this time that my boss had started to lose a ton of weight and shared with me about this superfood that his wife and him have found success with gaining back their health. Me, being ever the sceptic, told him I wanted to look into this. I was already eating a “vegan”like lifestyle. I didn’t consume dairy, meat or processed foods. I tried to eat raw vegetables and fruits at all times, and I hardly ever consumed sugar. I also worked out on a regular basis. Once I looked at the results that 100’s of real people all around the world and many local to Spokane, I couldn’t believe the healing qualities of this superfood and cleanse. I made the choice to try it in the hopes that it would help me to conceive and maybe drop a couple lbs. I was amazed at week two with not only the weight I had dropped, but my mind had so much clarity it was like I was 100% me, not the 70% I had been running on. I had little to no anxiety and energy for days! I never knew that I was missing out on that. I was ecstatic. I remember going shooting with Ryan one day and he looked at me and said, “Natalie you just seem really calm and happy lately”. If you knew what I was suffering through before you’d know this was a huge compliment. I had canceled my counseling appointment and was looking forward to life. We decided in May to go ahead and try again.

Me at my smallest right before I got pregnant

On June 26^th we finally got those 2 pink lines that I wanted to see so badly. Since then we have dealt with so much uncertainty with not wanting to get our hopes up. We are now successfully 15 weeks pregnant, and so in love with our life and what it has to bring. I truly believe proper nutrition and cellular cleansing helped me get my baby. I’ve praised Jesus for bringing the people into my life (Jerrod and Sarah) who introduced this to me and led me to Isagenix.

 Me currently @ 15 weeks pregnant

Now, onto more current items, Bella has started 2^nd grade and Ezra Kindergarten. They absolutely love being back in school (I have the only child that counted down the days till Summer ended and school started). I’m so thankful I have kids that enjoy learning, Bella has even complained that her teacher is babying her and needs to give them harder reading material. How is she my child again?!?! Haha, I definitely was not as eager a student when I was her age.

This blog might be changing a little bit, I’m hoping to post more for one. I will also be adding some more personal life events to it as well. Lots of pregnancy talk (sorry in advance), as I realized that since this may be my last pregnancy I should probably document it, and what better way than through my blog? I will still be adding random recipes, especially as pumpkin seasons is upon us. This weeks will be the Vanilla bean Plum Bars I made from my father’s plum tree.

I hope you all have an amazing week, you’ll be hearing from me a lot more in the near future. To anyone that reads this and has gone through or is going through a miscarriage and thinks they have no one to talk to, please please please message me! You really don’t have to go through this alone! You are not bothering me I promise.