Me

Me

Thursday, April 30, 2015

2 Months Post Partum



Greetings and salutations (sometimes certain things stay with you from your childhood, this is one of them...name that book)! I hope that everyone has been having a great last 2 weeks. I see that baby season is in full effect, lots of my Friends have been popping them out and I'm loving it! I think that this post will hopefully hit a note with most moms after the baby comes and you start to get into the routine of things.

This week I wanted to get into the topic of post partum and talk about where I'm at mentally. Like I said in my last post, I had a planned c section this time around. When you get home from the hospital is when the, ok....now what, sets in. You are tired so you don't really feel like doing to much, you may have visitors, you are checking on your baby every 5 minutes to make sure they are still breathing, and if you're breastfeeding then you're a human bottle there for that babies hungry little appetite. If you plan on going back to work then you are probably milking yourself (pumping) in between each feeding. All in all, you are basically a cow or any other form of livestock. You eat, sleep, and feed your baby. It's obviously much better than that cause you get to look at this amazing little blessing that came from your body and you know that this is all worth it. Then night time hits, and since (again if you breastfeed) you are the on call food, you are primarily the one waking up. You may have the most supportive husband in the world too, Ryan was AWESOME at getting up and changing her diaper or staying up with me, however, sometimes it doesn't always go that way. You may hear yourself arguing who got up last, or who is more tired, or....well pretty much anything can turn into an argument at 2 am when you're in zombie mode. Let's be honest, women have this attachment to their babies and can keep going when the going gets tough, because we would rather be an overly tired zombie than let our baby be in any sort of peril. 

On to how you feel. You are tired (I'm saying you, but I mean me), you feel gross, you are sore, you feel unattractive, you are waiting for your uterus to shrink, you more than anything would love to enjoy a big ol glass of pinot noir, but keep feeling racked with guilt at the thought of tainting your milk supply, you aren't really super hungry, but again feel guilty that you aren't eating enough for that darn milk supply........so many feels. One of the biggest feels for me, was my lack of friends/support. Sure I had family members that would come by, but I honestly didn't have many friends around that would just call to chat with me or stop by. Yeah, I would have been a little psycho about germs and probably tried to bail if they setup plans (those hormones do some crazy things), but I guess I just really felt lonely.

Now that I am at 2 months post partum, I'm mostly over a lot of those feelings. The one thing that I'm really having a hard time with now is my body. Before I got pregnant I was in the best shape of my life. I was the skinniest and fittest I've ever been. Now that my belly is gone, I'm noticing all the places that thought they were carrying a child as well. My thighs, hips, and butt for example. 2 weeks ago I got the ok to start working out....what did I do? WAY over did it. I did insanity and felt great until the next day when my incision started to hurt. Lesson learned. I am now ready to start taking it easy and do more weight lifting and jogging, which will then turn into hiit workouts and insanity/cardio. I would like to share my progress with yall, and also do this to keep me motivated and to hold myself accountable.



On to more cheery things: Vivian is 2 months!!! She is so cute too. Little Viv has started to smile alllll the time and she has started telling us about all the drama in her life. I love this stage, I had forgotten how amazing those little baby smiles and giggles can make you feel. The things that come out of my older kids mouths are generally them fighting, so it's rather refreshing hearing cooos.



Lastly an update on me in other parts of my life. I have gone through many life changes in the last 2 months, and I'm not a person who does too well with change. Let's start with the most obvious, I grew my family of 4 to a family of 5, next I got a new job (haven't told a whole lot of people this so you are all the first to know) and quit my amazing job of 5 years. I have been wanting to stay at home with the kiddos for the last year, and now that Vivian is here I was able to get a job with Apple working from home doing iOS support. The last change is we have moved in with my parents. Sigh. It's all for the good of our family though. We have some big plans for summer of 2016, which include moving to Florida. This whole move was brought on by the fact that our land lord was planning on putting the house on the market, but we also wanted to pay off all our credit card debt in order to give us the best quality of life when the big move happens. Not only are we paying off debt, but also buying land and planning the building of our house. See!!! So many changes.  

Welp that's all I got for this week. Next time maybe we can talk food, wine/booze, fitness, and other fun stuff.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

6 week hiatus

To anyone that reads/follows my blog, I am sincerely sorry for not having put any sort of update after having my baby girl. That was like a big old drum roll of being 39 weeks and then....nothing. SO without further ado:

On February 27th, 2015 at 7:37 am, Vivian Lucille was born via C-Section. She weighed 7 lbs 7 ozs, was 20 in long and one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Now I know most people take this part to generally tell their birth story. Since this was a planned C section, there isn't a whole lot of drama or excitement involved HOWEVER I will describe the day from my point of view.

The morning of the day my daughter was scheduled to be born (such a strange but very welcoming concept), I remember just staring at the ceiling (as I had done most of the night...who actually sleeps when something exciting is happening the next day? Not 90% of humans....) and thinking this is actually happening. All the heartache and tears I'd spent wishing for this tiny human were all leading up to this day and it's here.



Ryan and I took our showers and then I attempted to make myself presentable for surgery (Women who have been pregnant know that at this point of largeness it's not an easy task wink wink haha).  We triple checked that we had everything, the 2 kids were at Grandpa and Grandma's house probably not sleeping in excitement as well, and then got in the car and off we went to the delivery center.

Now, the week before, my daughter so graciously gifted me with a head cold that had turned into a sinus infection. My head felt rather miserable, but I was determined to tough it out and not say a word to make sure that this C-section was going to happen and not get rescheduled.

When we arrived at the hospital we checked in and were brought into a triage room so they could get me all ready to go under the knife. The nurses were awesome and entertained us while we waited.

Ryan was calm as ever (I'm such an outwardly emotional person I kept asking are you nervous, are you excited, SHOW ME SOME EMOTION YOU ROBOT!!!!) in the oversized bluish scrubs they provide all C-section dads with. I was a little emotional, but masking it with sarcasm and smiles. This was my 3rd C-section, but I was still a little nervous and the thoughts of all the different things that could go wrong. The nurses and doctors asked me about a million times: Are you both sure you want to get the Tubal Ligation (get your tubes tied)? To which we both responded yes, we rather enjoy having a little bit of sanity haha.

Once it was time I grabbed my lovely little rolling IV, ensured my butt was not exposed in my lovely hospital gown, and started the walk to the surgery room. At this point they don't generally allow dads to go in quite yet, so Ryan gave me a big ol kiss and an I love you, and off I went into the cold surgical room.

This is the fun point at which I get my spinal block (which honestly was completely painless...I don't remember not really feeling anything at all before, so kudos to my anesthesiologist), lay down, and start to lose feeling while everyone else around me pokes me, puts fluids in my IV, and sets up blue sheets so I can't see anything. Seeing as I have the best OB in all of Spokane (Barrong truly is a great great man, and I will miss him when he moves) he makes sure I'm numb and then starts the eviction process. This is the part where they bring Ryan in and he gets to sit next to me. He's still calm as ever (JUST SHOW ME SOMETHING....ANYTHING...) and has his phone ready to take as many pictures as he can. Now, let me just say my doctor had that baby out within about 5 minutes of the first cut, so when he told Ryan get your camera ready, I was rather surprised. Ryan got every bloody little detail of my baby girls birth, if I get enough people that are curious to see them, I will post.

It was at this time I heard that beautiful sound that all parents wait for: the crying.  Then like Simba from the Lion King, I see this tiny little human lifted above me with a soft little cry. It's surreal. Literally I felt as though this was not real life, how could this gorgeous little girl be mine??? I may have had a tear or two, but I kept it together pretty good. I watched as Ryan excitedly starts calling out all these details about our daughter and takes picture after picture and starts recording. My heart was pretty full.






Details about Vivian:

She looks NOTHING like me haha. I mean it. These last 9 months I've been telling Ryan not to get his hopes up for a blue eyed blonde child. That my Puerto Rican genes were pretty dominate and we get a lot of brown eyes brown hair. WELP I was wrong. Out comes this blue eyed, RED haired baby with her daddies hands and feet. Her face is all him minus her nose and lips. No one will believe I'm her mom, more than likely they'll think I'm the help after they take a look at her haha. She was perfect. My breathtakingly beautiful gift from God.

Fast forward to now, 6 weeks later.  It has been sort of a blur of sleeplessness and busyness. The first couple weeks Viv got jaundice decently bad so we battled getting her to gain weight and poop out all that bad stuff. She's doing much better now, doesn't look like a member of the Jersey Shore anymore. Now I just have this very cute almost 2 month old that smiles and tries to talk all the time. She is a very chill baby who mostly only cries when she needs something. I will say that I may have the gassiest baby of all time. She gives daddies farts a run for their money. This may have to do with my diet of veggies and fruits most of the time.



I've officially been cleared to workout (as of yesterday) and I am MORE than ready to start. You don't realize all the parts of your body that gain weight/lose muscle when you're pregnant, but once the belly goes you notice everything else. From this point out I'm going to be updating the weight loss (to help me hold myself accountable) and also be updating on the family.

Thank you everyone that has supported me throughout this journey to get pregnant/pregnancy and now during the early months of my baby. Lots of change is coming our way, but that's a topic for another day (look at me rhyming and stuff). I hope you all have had a great 6 weeks, until next week ....

Here are some more pictures from the birth/of Viv:

Our beautiful little family
SO in love


Grandpa Mike and Grandpa Ed holding their little girl

Big sister Bella 


Big brother Ezra

Daddy changing his first diaper
Week old Vivian with her cute Aunt Jemima headband

My Big 1 month old!! I can't believe she's almost two months!